Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
