it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
