So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
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