yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have feelings that need drinking.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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