could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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