So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
They have beer where we have blood.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
