She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
