Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
