This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
