Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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