Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
jump out the window naked night went bad
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
