I want to walk on stilts...naked
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
