you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
