dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize