There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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