I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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