I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
