this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
