Do you still have your period?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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