you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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