Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
