i don't like sucking hair
I wannas sexs uuuuu
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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