this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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