I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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