is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
