He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
