Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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