i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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