Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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