Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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