i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize