He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
