Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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