I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
