Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
