I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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