I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You can't special order awesome
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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