O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
