dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
