i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
