i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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