all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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