ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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