i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
