Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
