just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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