I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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