totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
