I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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