I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
