The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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