is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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