Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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