First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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