bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
