It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
