am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
