So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
