Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize