I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
