I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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