No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
