I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
