After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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