He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
