we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
