"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
they need to just BURY HIM!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
