He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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