Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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