I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
